Is this going to be one of those happy, bouncy, think positive and the whole world will come calling blogs?  Overblown offers that promise you endless riches in 10 days if you only buy this book, or all your wildest dreams if you will write out what you want on a postcard and stick it on your mirror?  No, thankfully it’s not.

Let me tell you how today’s blog started out.  In the last six months, we have moved 6,000 plus air miles from the UK to Singapore – to new work for my husband, new school for the kids- figuring out how to start again here.  Meanwhile I got offered the opportunity to ghostwrite/edit two 50,000 word books, with 4 months to complete both.  Then my husband’s Mom died after a prolonged and difficult illness.  I’ll skip my gruesome dental related experiences   Oh, and then my husband went for neck traction and ended up in hospital with excruciating head and neck pain.  To date he has been off work (his brand new j0b) for 3 weeks.  I know, it never rains but it pours…

When life throws torrential rain, or even every day rain that just never seems to stop, there are plenty of opportunities to stumble or fear, re-visit the past with a critical eye, to what if and why me.  I have found myself by turns sad, angry, worried and really frustrated. So 1 minute in, where is this better life I was promising?  Well if I’m honest, it is not really me who is doing the promising.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6 v25-27, NIV

This really works.  In fact, what a blessed relief to be free to live like this.  To live life, to fully live your life, without constantly worrying about the outcome.  To be more focused on this day than the day before or even the day after.  To lay down those nagging fears of disappointment, failure or lack and believe that today, this day is good.

“To action alone hast thou a right and never at all to its fruits; let not the fruits of action be thy motive; neither let there be in thee any attachment to inaction” from the Bhagavad Gita

It is easy to let the ghosts of yesterday haunt us, equally, to be overwhelmed by the towering giants of tomorrow. Unless we choose to live like this.  If we cease to pay attention to the ghosts or the giants and instead turn towards now – what I can do with today – we are free to look for light instead of concentrating on darkness and foreboding.  If we turn our full attention towards today, it is much easier to encounter risk without timidity and challenges without frustration.  In short, we do not have to be concerned with all the ways today does not stack up.

“Happiness, knowledge, not in another place, but this place, not for another hour, but this hour…” Walt Whitman

So here’s something. Why not spend the next 3 minutes focusing on this question – how can I get the best out of today? This question, in my case, helps free me to care for my husband without agonizing over all the what ifs , to write when I can rather than getting frustrated when I can’t, to help my kids make the transitions they need without wishing everything was neatly sorted.  This question stops, better still replaces, all those why me and if onlys.

So 3 minutes in, this is no happy, bouncy, think positive and the whole world will come calling blog.  But it does contain the makings of a better life, starting with this promise, not mine but God’s -

“Do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6 v31-34, NIV

He believes in you.

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“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.” S. Francis de Sales, Bishop and Prince of Geneva, Annency 1603

What would life look like if your whole world was upset? I don’t know what earth shattering events you are currently coping with or even what aftermath you may be cleaning up but of this I am certain: when your world is in pieces, fear rushes through the cracks.

Like black water through a cracked window pane.  Like shadowy figures that dance doom.  Like a master story teller who makes you believe every word is true.  Fear is real and it transforms everything it touches.  It reduces and corrodes, accuses and betrays.  Fear is all darkness and has nothing to do with light.

Fear says that you cannot, that God will not and is not. Fear tells us we are on our own in a room of ever lengthening shadows.  Abandoned to fate, to the whim of circumstances, subject to the will of others.  That we are powerless and helpless.

If we look beyond our own lives, we can see just how much fear is stalking the planet. Since the year 2,000 we have lived through 9/11, bombs on London buses and trains, mass shootings in Mumbai, wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, tsunamis in Thailand and Japan, the credit crisis, massive earthquakes in Iran, Turkey and Haiti, flooding and famine in Africa and Hurricane Katrina.  And all that is just the tip of the iceberg, I’m sure you could add some.  We are even fighting a war on what?  A war on terror.

So can fear be defeated by the collective might of the military?  Can terror be overcome, vanquished for good?  What about the fear that seeps through the cracks in our lives, can we fight back, especially if we are subject to circumstances way beyond our control?

“Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened, but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm.” Robert Louis Stevenson

How to find calm in the eye of the storm.  How to stop the seeping darkness.  Jesus.  Either He is or He isn’t able. Either He does or does not speak to peace to deadly waves.  Is what God says the truth or is it all just make believe?  Here is what God says:

God loves you, yesterday, today and forever. Jeremiah 31 v3

If God is for you, who can be against you? Romans 8 v31

God works everything (that is everything) together in your life for your ultimate good. Romans 8 v28

Jesus gave His life to save yours. John 15 v13

And He gave His life even though He knew all the ways you had failed. Romans 5 v8

Jesus brings freedom (not just a speck of freedom but complete freedom). Galatians 5 v1

Nothing (that means nothing) can separate us from the love of God. Romans 8 v3-39

What God says is true. Psalm 119 v105

God does not change like shifting shadows. James 1 v15

He knew you and he loved you. Even before you were born. Psalm 139

And He has not given you a spirit of fear, but of LOVE, of power and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1 v7

How to stop the seeping darkness? Jesus. He is able to speak to peace to the deadliest waves. Tell Him your fears and let Him calm them today.

Flood by Jars of Clay

He believes in you.

‘Sincerity means that the appearance and the reality are exactly the same.’ Oswald Chambers, a teacher of rare insight and expression whose work only became widely known after his death at the age of 43

Do you ever wish that you were better appreciated?  There are days when I have wished that a troupe of plumed white horses would arrive at my door, bearing a carriage and a message from the King,

‘The King has noticed the humble work that you undertake without complaint (well, much complaint) and He is well pleased with you.  Carry on!’

At which point I would attempt a curtsey (humble of course) and would keep calm and carry on, safe in the knowledge that I had been noticed, applauded.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting people to notice our efforts or say nice rather than nasty things about us but I wonder, how much of what we do is motivated by the need for that appreciation or approval?

What if we go one step further and live our lives, making important choices based on what we want people to think about us?  The need for approval can drive all sorts of decisions – how we behave in the presence of a disapproving parent or manipulative friend, the type of books we read, the holidays we take, the car or phone we choose to buy, even the after school activities that we enroll our kids in.  Image can end up being everything.  An advertisers dream full of must haves and should do’s.

It can be hard for us to accept that there is much greater peace in living honestly, as we are, finding contentment in the life that we are given and in refusing to play the mind games that wait for us every day.  But if appearance and reality become the same, surely there is less chance for conflict and stress?  If a river tries to flow both ways, it is no longer a river but a whirlpool, sucking endless amounts of energy round one way and then the other, stuck, expending fresh life that could otherwise have been given to exploring new pathways.

If you want proof of just how much energy keeping up appearances can take how about this:

“The worldwide cosmetics and perfume industry currently generates an estimated annual turnover of US$170 billion (according to Eurostaf – May 2007)” Wikipedia

On a recent PBS Television Special, Harold Kushner summed this up,

“Tomorrow morning, if every woman in America woke up feeling good about her appearance, the American economy would collapse.  Whole industries are built on the notion that women are afraid they will not be lovable unless they measure up to some standard of perfection.”

While I don’t think we are likely to put down our mascara or refuse to shave our legs, how about this?  The next time you look in the mirror, why not do so kindly?  You do not have to be your own worst enemy, neither do you or I need to worry endlessly about what people think of us.  We are loved.  Endlessly, entirely, everlastingly loved.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31 v3, NIV

And here’s an old prayer with always blessing.

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, superficial relationships, so that you will live deep within your heart.

And may God bless you with the foolishness to think that you can make a difference in the world, so that you will do the things which others tell you cannot be done.

He believes in you.

‘Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.’ Chinese Proverb

How wonderful to be given good news?  To be given the gift of a yes rather than a no.  To find out that someone was thinking of you when you were left alone with your thoughts. To have someone offer you a hand when yours were too full, or too empty.

Good news, stories of hope, inspiration and encouragement.  Here is one from a friend, Kim, just back from India.  Why not see how it speaks to you:

Dear Friends

Just back from Jaipur – completely uplifted and inspired by the work done by I-India. It is always so humbling to be with people so rich in spirit –  of course it is confronting too – seeing the poorest of the poor, living in conditions which are so bad – no water, no electricity, little food, no education, no work, – the exploitation of women and children in particular is always something difficult to witness.

I hold very closely the words of Einstein  we cannot solve the worlds problems with the same thinking that created them, the conditions in Jaipur have been created by something much more than just poverty-so throwing money at the problem will not work!!, Often the roots lie in belief systems that do not honor individuals, that do not deem people worthy enough of receiving food or shelter. Belief systems that say ‘I am not good enough’ …or, ‘I  have no value’.

Rather than feeling pity or guilt or hopelessness for these people I strongly believe that we all have gifts to offer in this world. On my last visit, there were a group of desperately poor women/mothers sitting around but I noticed that they did some lovely stitching –  so over the last few months we have helped them to work together to stitch some beautiful picnic rugs that are being sold in Singapore.

As I stepped out of the car to see the project – I was breathless to witness a vibrant group of women stitching away, singing, working
together – not only have they now been able to earn money, but we use the profits to fund their children’s education and we encourage them by buying them food,blankets,oil, sugar. As an incentive we are financing solar light for their ‘huts’ – their living space which is completely dark even in the daytime – is now able to be lit up!

A really personal moment for me was when the women were discussing what the rugs mean to them. One very poised women looked up and said that she now feels like she has a voice in her family. Later I was thinking, apart from the voice that is now being listened to by others, I could also see in these women that maybe this voice was also their own – to be able to say to yourself that you can do something … that you do deserve respect…that you are amazing. These women have also strengthened my own voice(for it is in the giving that we receive!) as I come back here, re-energized, with a desire to continue to be a positive voice both for myself and my community.

I have a favorite Shel Silverstein poem… that goes like this:

Magic Carpet

You have a magic carpet
That will whiz you through the air,
To Spain or Maine or Africa
If you just tell it where.
So will you let it take you
Where you’ve never been before,
Or will you buy some drapes to match
And use it on your floor?

Friends… I send you love and through this simple experience encourage you to use your voice to ask for goodness for yourself and for others today.  May we all continue to work as a community – as one voice- to really be the change that we want to see in this world!!

Love to all.

Kim

“In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5 v16, NIV

He believes in you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfAhpX_wIBk&ob=av2e

“There’s something like a line of golden thread running through a man’s words when he talks to his son or daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.” John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery

Time follows after time, and now here is a whole New Year flipped over from the old one.  Fresh and ready for weaving. Except that some threads are already woven and we must carry the picture on with those threads present.  Our family threads, Father, Mother, others, we started out all woven into other people’s lives.

Words like golden thread or maybe trip wires were laid down in our impressionable young lives.  Powerful words that can make a child stand taller or rather stoop lower.  Threads become golden cloth or wires get tighter as ever more are added, as time follows after time.

Words like golden thread

I love you, you are beautiful, you did that so well, you are very good at that, one day you will be the best…, I will always be there for you, come tell me what is troubling you, shall we pray together, God loves you with all the love in the world, thank you, I am sorry, I believe in you, you are my son/you are my daughter and I will always be thankful for you.

Words like trip wires

Sorry I can’t make it, you always seem to fail at…, why can’t you be more like…, your sister/brother is better at…, leave me alone, I don’t care, I hate you, I wish you had never been born, I am not interested, I need to work so I won’t…, why are you always so…, you just won’t be any good at that, why don’t you love me like…, why do you never…

When you pick up the unfinished cloth you are taking into this year, how does the weaving look to you?  Are the already woven threads shaping comfort or fear, grace or a shroud? What do you hear when you stop to think? What are the echoes that guide you or haunt you?

The words of your Father, your Mother, others. With so many families split through the centre and up to 50% of marriages in the West ending in divorce, there is often silence, no more talking at all. Children left fatherless or motherless, no golden thread to hold, just longing.

How can we weave beauty unless someone shows us?  How can we be shaped by grace unless we are held? A Father’s love always hopes, always trusts, never fails.  Where is this love to be found when we have no golden thread to make our cloth?

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families,he leads out the prisoners with singing;” Psalm 68 v5-6a, NIV

God promises to be your eternal Father, Mother, others.  To take your unfinished cloth and weave it through with these everlasting words,

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31 v3, NIV

He loves you today, with enough love for all eternity.  With gold enough for your yesterdays, today and all your tomorrows.  You cannot deserve His love, or make Him love you more or less.  He loved you even before you were born.  And you mean everything to Him, just as you are.  If you have been abandoned, left with longing deeper than you can speak, if your trust has been abused, if words have caused you to stoop lower rather than stand tall.  Give your cloth to Him.  Today.

Ask Him to take the fear and weave comfort, to exchange your shroud for grace. Ask and you will receive. When a child needs love, a true Father always provides, as time follows after time.  I know, He is mine.  He is yours and He loves you, with all the love in the world.

He believes in you.

“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can’t move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn’t been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won’t be troubling you much longer.” Douglas Adams, British Comic Author, 1952-2001

Our well meaning friends and family, the blogosphere – they are all full of one thing.  Advice.  How to have the perfect relationship, how to make this Christmas the best yet, on and on.  Get more money, dress better, be happy, have more meaningful time with God or your children.

It’s all well and good, all this advice. But sometimes life just sucks and we get stuck.  And even when we get unstuck we get left with the debris.  The marks left in our souls of past trauma or catastrophe.  The fear that surfaces whenever certain circumstances present themselves, the memories of a time when all the lights went out.  To combat these fears and to escape the darkness, we often develop a whole battery of defence mechanisms or unhealthy ways of dealing with pain. Our hang ups.

We over think, beat ourselves up with our own words, under love, over eat, worry and obsess.  When I get backed into an old corner I tend to fight like a cornered lion, this is a great if you are actually a lion in a corner, not so great if you are a wife and mother.  It can be loud and rather pointless.  What do you do?

Sometimes we get hung up on people – why doesn’t he or she like me more or behave better?  Other times we get hung up on a problem that we have no hope of fixing.  Most hang ups have to do with things that are completely out of our control.  People who stubbornly refuse to play nice, a career path that is not going where it should, a childhood that was not all chocolate cake and poster paints.

And when we are hung up, we are to one degree or another immobilized, stuck under a boulder that will slowly drain the life out of us.  Imagine how easy it is to see the way ahead from under a boulder.  Your boulder might be stuck right by a beautiful waterfall or a valley full of sweet fruit, but you would never know it.  When we are fixated, pre-occupied or obsessed, it is difficult to see anything let alone the good waiting to present itself around the next corner.

So how do we put our hang ups down, especially when advice seems meaningless and strength fails? What happens when blessing counting won’t move the load. When we would in truth be quite happy to end our days under a boulder?  The next time you get stuck in an old place, hung up, unable to move your immoveable boulder – here is another rock to help you out.

“From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety” Psalm 61 v2

David, the man who wrote these words, was in exile. He was surrounded by powerful enemies whose only intention was to overpower and kill him.  He was hung up, stuck under a mountain of trouble and David knew there was only one way out.  A rock higher than his own.  Instead of trying to move his own rock, David exchanged it for God’s – a rock of safety, a fortress and a shield.

Whatever your hang ups, whenever you find your self stuck, unable to combat your fears or escape the darkness.  Instead of trying to move the load on your own, why not ask God to exchange it for His – His rock of safety, protection and peace.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11 v28, NIV

He believes in you.

“It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

In these days of Twitter and Trending, Facebook and Likes, there seem to be ever more opportunities to feel adored or abandoned.  But here’s a question – if a lot of people like something, does that genuinely make it more valuable?  And what about the opposite – if a scarce few people like something, does that make it worth little or even less?

I can’t help but thinking that with all the chances to google our names, check how many friends we have on our social networks, even keep up with how many people are visiting our blogs, we are missing something hidden, something deeper and much more relevant.  I’m not sure that numbers, big numbers are a very good indicator of real value.

A mother could dedicate her whole life to looking after the son who came home from the war with no means to look after himself, a father could take a second job to help with his daughter’s college fees, a child could care for a sick parent or a family could move half way across the world to look after babies who have no family of their own.

And what about you?  You could love someone, really love them.  Maybe you don’t have 400 Facebook friends or your own TV show, but who you are and what you do is, in truth, much more valuable than that.  You could be a great friend, an attentive lover, faithful or brave.  You could have endured when others may have walked away, you may have forgiven despite the temptation to stay bitter. Perhaps you always leave people feeling better about themselves. Maybe you stayed right there, until the end.

In the privacy of your own home, when you turn off all the electronic distractions and are quiet, do you know that you are loved, that your life has great worth? God is head over heels in love with you.  Just as you are. He sees all the details of your life, all your value, the good that you do or think.  Oh, you may say, but He also sees my faults, the good I don’t do or think.  But my friend, why not hush your inner critic and allow yourself in this moment simply to be loved, just as you are.  God loves you like this:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 14 v4-8, NIV

It is easy in this world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own.  But God sees your life and mine so differently, He is not interested in how popular we are and we cannot do anything to make Him love us more. We do not have to be the best in show, top of the pile, most gorgeous, first past the post, head and shoulders above the rest.

When we spend too much time looking on the surface, maybe we are missing something hidden, something deeper and much more relevant. An oak tree starts life as an acorn hidden in the dirt.  Nobody would even know it was there.  But contained within that tiny, hidden thing are all the makings of beauty, might, splendour and shelter.  The little acorn simply takes a lifetime to become all that it was always meant to be.

You cannot calculate your own worth.  Numbers cannot do justice to value.  Love is kind, it honours, it rejoices in the truth.  Love forgives, protects, hopes and trusts.  Popularity may come and go but love never fails. So I whisper again, can you allow yourself in this moment to be loved, just as you are?

‘I have come home at last! This is my real country.  I belong here.  This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now…’ CS Lewis, The Last Battle

Someone I love is changing.  We have walked through life together and now our paths are bending different ways.  Mama Lyn is dying and I cannot go further than the edge of this life with her.  I will stay and she will go ahead.

When I am full of thinking about something, I have to write.  Like a painter, I start with a line that becomes a picture.  I had this line,

‘Time has bent our paths away, like branches bend the willow tree.’

In England we describe the striking way that willow branches bend as ‘weeping’.  A weeping willow – there is a picture of bent over grief.  But the willow is much more than simply weeping.

The wood from this tree is strong enough and supple enough to be used to make all manner of useful and playful objects, you can even weave willow into a roof to shelter your head.

Before we had Asprin, the leaves and bark of the tree were widely used as a remedy for aches and fever.  In many religions, the willow is a sacred tree, it speaks of compassion, of safety and protection.

So what has all this to do with love and death?  Because despite all the bent over grief, even though time may bend our paths like the branches of a weeping willow, Mama Lyn and I are safe.  The weeping willow encourages me to remember this – we have a place to shelter from the storm that rages all around.

‘For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.’ Psalm 27 v5, NIV

Hidden away in God’s compassion, safety and protection.  So that even when everything is changing, when we feel just loss or lost, when we cannot comprehend or make sense of it all, when we are walking towards the edge of life, one staying, the other going – we are always and forever safe.

Safe

Time has bent our paths away,
Like branches bend the willow tree,
We hold each other close and love,
But now time shapes just you and me.

I am here and cannot stray,
Along the path that leads you on,
The light is there for you, my love,
But never will your light be gone.

Although the rain makes petals fall,
The rose will keep her grace,
And soft my love with gentle hope,
I look upon your face.

Your face will light the morning sun,
And light each day I’m given,
You rest my love, safe with the Son,
And I will do as bidden.

You are safe here in my heart,
Come with our beauty shared,
And time will bend the willow tree,
And I will follow there.

Like the willow that bends but does not break, God will never allow us to be utterly broken or destroyed.  Death is not the end and the path from Earth to Heaven is fully lit up by His love. He is the same God yesterday, today and forever, outside of the minutes and hours that define our life here. He has gone ahead and He is closer than the next breath.  And we will be with Him, just as He is with us.

‘Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there’s a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see.’  Helen Keller

He believes in you.

‘I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be.’  Charlotte, from the movie Lost in Translation, Focus Features 2003

We have been in Singapore for four months now.  Long enough to discover that Singapore has four official languages English, Chinese, Malay, and Tamil.  In case you ever visit Singapore, here is how to say ‘hello’, surely the first basic of communication in any language.

English: Hello, Hi

Chinese (Traditional): 您好

Malay: selamat pagi

Tamil: ஹலோ

How to make sense of it all?  You can see just in the writing that these languages are about as different from each other as it is possible to get.  As an antidote to all this language stress, over the last forty years Singaporeans have developed their own way of talking called ‘Singlish’ that is English with words from all the other languages thrown in.  It helps.  Still there are plenty of chances for a conversation to become lost in translation.

Like this.  I was trying to book a rather appealing looking package holiday to Beijing yesterday, the holiday (which was being advertised in English) included,

‘A compulsory tour with air-conditioned coach and Mandarin speaking guide: visit Tiananmen Square, The Forbidden City, The National Theatre, Summer Palace, Great Wall of China, Ya Xiu Marketa’

Sounded great until the Travel Agent rather brusquely pointed out that the compulsory tour would be conducted in Mandarin.

Travel Agent: Do you speak Mandarin?

Me: Er, no but we would really like to take the tour, maybe we could just go anyway?

Travel Agent (in a tone that implied I was entirely stupid): I don’t think so!!!

No compulsory tour for us then.  There it was, our dream holiday, lost in translation.  And there are times when much more important elements in our lives become suddenly impossible or radically difficult to understand; when the doors slam shut, someone moves away from us or dies, a friendship or marriage turns sour, a job becomes impossible, our health fails, we have to start something all over again, we seem unable to say what we want to say, we have no control, we are left out or feel abandoned.  In short: we have something special, then it is lost to us.

So how do we make sense of it all? Who or what remains where there is silence where there should be comfort, kindness or a sense of meaning and purpose?

I do not give as the world gives. That is what Jesus said, saying so much in just eight little words.  This world can give you loss, hardship, confusion, destruction, exhaustion and decay but I do not give as the world gives.

There are times when we have something special, then it is lost to us. Why not give Him all the parts of your life that are lost in translation right now?  Ask Him to take your loss and help you to find purpose and meaning again.

‘Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.’ John 14 v27, NIV

He believes in you.

‘Some day, in years to come, you will be wrestling with the great temptation, or trembling under the great sorrow of your life. But the real struggle is here, now, in these quiet weeks. Now it is being decided whether, in the day of your supreme sorrow or temptation, you shall miserably fail or gloriously conquer. Character cannot be made except by a steady, long continued process.’  Phillips Brooks, American Clergyman and Author

I stay up too late. I kid myself it is because I am a night owl not an early bird, the truth is I should just get to bed earlier.  Apparently, the easier something is to do the harder it is to change.  Why should I get to bed earlier, in fact, why should we pay attention to any of our bad habits?  Do bad habits really matter? The short answer is:  they do when it comes to the crunch.

The crunch is that decisive point, maybe not today but an invitable sometime, the day on which our future course is determined.

I’ve been reading this book called Inviting Disaster by James Chiles.  Chiles is a man who has spent much of his highly trained life working out why disasters happen and what we can do to avoid them.  He has consulted with NASA, on oil rigs in high seas, at huge international factories, for airlines.  His numerous articles on how disasters happen and how to prevent them have appeared in Smithsonian, Air & Space, Harvard magazine.  The man knows what he is talking about.

All disasters happen on crunch days. Every single one of the world altering disasters that Chiles has investigated, from the sinking of the unsinkable Titanic,  to the capsize of the world’s mightiest drilling rig Ocean Ranger, to the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger, they all had one thing in common.  They all started with tiny problems, little slip ups. Stuff that really shouldn’t matter but when it came to the crunch, really did.

The unsinkable Titanic was manufactured with safety compartments to hold water at bay if the ship was struck by an iceberg.  The safety compartments failed because the rivets or iron bolts holding the compartments together were manufactured in haste, costs were cut and so were corners, as a results the rivets were of a much lower quality and strength than they could have been.  The iceberg found the ship, the sea found the weaknesses in the safety compartments and the rest is history.

The indestructible Ocean Ranger oil rig floundered in the kind of high seas that were typical to the Grand Banks where the rig was located.  The rig had been specifically designed to survive these high seas, the collapse and eventual demise of the rig started with a tiny window that someone forgot to shut.  The space challenger’s much anticipated launch ended in tragedy because of the failure of a tiny part, an O Ring, that had been hurried through testing due to timing and budget concerns.

‘We weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it.’  Horace Mann

James R Chiles argues that all of these disasters were avoidable; they all started with tiny problems, little slip ups.  Stuff that really shouldn’t matter but when it came to the crunch, really did. And like a ship that was built to survive a collision, an oil rig able to survive an almighty storm or a space craft that should have got to the moon, the way we decide to live today determines how we will survive when it comes to the crunch.

So what has this got to do with taming bad habits? If I get to bed late every night, I wake up tired, I put unnecessary pressure on my day, my health and even my family.  We are, like it or not, made up of the sum of our daily decisions, our habits good and bad.  So what are you doing over and over ?  Maybe it is time to change the thread?

‘The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.’ Matthew 7 v25, NIV

He believes in you.

ClairesTeaParty just relocated 6761 airmiles from the UK to Singapore. She has also been asked to write a 50,000 word book in two months. No pressure then Consequently, she will be blogging intermittently until she’s at least 35,000 words in. Please pray for me. Thanks so much for stopping by, it’s better with you here xxx