“From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.” Franz Kafka, Jewish author of many classic plays and novels including The Trial. A large number of Kafka’s manuscripts and notebooks were confiscated and lost by the Gestapo in 1933 prior to WW2.

Jesus stood, face to the crowd. Scattered throughout the heaving, restless mob were men and women who had followed Him either on the mountains, at the seashore or in the towns and villages that He had visited.

Some knew neighbors or relatives who had been healed by Him. Others had traveled  many miles to hear Him teach.  Every single person in that crowd had an opinion about who this man was. And now they were either struck dumb with horror or baying for His blood.

So there He stood.

Crowds followed Jesus everywhere He went, there were even Shepherds and Wise Men at His birth.  But in front of that mass of bawling-mewing people, Jesus was alone.  He stood apart from the guards, the High Priest, the schemers, the politicians, the ruling elite and the ordinary folk.  Standing there, He scanned the crowd for just one face. And through the blood and red haze of the beating that had left His eyes cloudy, He found the one who knew better than any other what He was going through.

Maybe the child that had become a man in Him pleaded silently for His mother to look away. Even though they both knew they would face this day.

Now He was there – and she powerless – maybe it was almost more than He could bear.

Mary thought of her baby boy, her gentle-strong child, always so ready to laugh and to forgive. She could still see her little boy, peaceful and perfect as she watched Him sleep, as she tried to capture every golden moment, wanting time to last.

But it had passed.

She remembered the way the Prophet had looked at her with tombstone eyes.  What was it he said? ‘A sword will pierce you heart.’ In this black, red and blue moment, those words screamed to life.

She couldn’t look away. He was going to die – this One wholly innocent man – her child would die a criminal’s death so that all those who were condemned to shuffle along in chains, including herself, would be able to walk free.

Mary was there at the beginning and the end, with him as He died. Alone in an ocean of countless tears, even though she was held. What good could come out of ugliness so profound, so complete in its wickedness? Who could look at anyone who died like this, disfigured, beaten, cursed? There was no light, it was all snuffed out, gone.  Just the silence of the tomb following hard after a series of events that seemed chaotic, senseless.

Until three days later.

There are times when we cannot see God at work in our lives, when He seems at best remote, at worst entirely absent.  He becomes disfigured. We cannot recognize Him. The pain becomes too real and the promise too fanciful. But even though you may get to the point where you feel completely alone in a ocean of tears.  You are held. 

Jesus knows. He stood in your place. And after darkness had been allowed its way, Jesus took back the life He had so willingly and so fully laid down for your sake, and He commanded that darkness to bow to all consuming light. And you my friend?

You walk free.

“Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.” Lauren, a child, aged 9

You have a hugely important meeting to go to yet here you are stuck in the bathroom frantically trying to get permanent maker/red wine out of the only item of clothing you could possibly wear. Or maybe you have arrived at this page late into the night as you surf the web, hoping for a miracle stain remover for your (or someone else’s) expensive white shag pile carpet.

I remember using all of my good friend’s miracle ‘it always works’ stain remover in a vain attempt to clean up the comforting full mug of tea that she had handed over to me, and I had dropped.  I eventually found the perfect (and only) solution.  I bought her a big rug.  Not white.

No more stain, all covered up.  Except I knew it was still there, and despite her good natured protestations, I’m sure my friend did too. So what about the stuff that really matters in our lives, the things that leave stains that refuse to go away or be forgotten?

American Novelist and all round deep thinker Mark Twain said that anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. And it’s not just anger that leaves permanent marks.

Bitterness, betrayal, lies, addictions, violence, words either said or unsaid, rebellion, fear, selfishness and envy.

I am sure you could add your own mark to this list.

If you think about how your life has been affected by any one of these things, I’m sure you will agree that they can have disastrous consequences.  A bit like if someone took a black pen to a beautiful painting until all the beauty was scribbled out. And when you are left alone to stand and survey the damage, what then?

Can you buy a quick-fix solution for jealousy or a cover-all for anger or frustration? What can you do with stubborn stains that simply refuse to be erased? How about we start by calling it what it is, stop trying to hide it. This stuff is called sin.

“Sin is believing the lie that we are self-created, self-dependent and self-sustained.” St. Augustine

If we are self-created – we make up our own rules, we make our own Heaven and our own Hell, we obey no voice but our own.

If we are self-dependant – than all we need is self-help, we are invincible, a fortified castle or a steel fortress.

If we are self-sustained – we keep it all together, we are the center of it all, we decide how to nurture, comfort and heal ourselves.

The only way to shift sin for good is by knowing that we can’t.  We don’t need self-help we need His help. The miracle is right here.

“I, even I, am he who blots out  your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” Isaiah 43 v25, NIV

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1John 1 v9, NIV

“Jesus said, ‘I tell you most solemnly that anyone who chooses a life of sin is trapped in a dead-end life and is, in fact, a slave. A slave is a transient, who can’t come and go at will. The Son, though, has an established position, the run of the house. So if the Son sets you free, you are free through and through.’ ” John 8 v34-36, The Message

 He believes in you.

“While the Titanic was sinking, and during the whole time I was working at the boats, I held to the truth, thereby eliminating all fear.” Commander Charles Herbert Lightoller DSC & Bar, RD, RNR, 30 March 1874 – 8 December 1952

You may or may not be aware that the Titanic sank 100 years ago, you may even be blissfully unaware of the mountain of books, international exhibitions, TV specials and re-released ‘now in 3D movie’ that have traveled in her wake.

If you ask anyone who knows the story of that fateful night, they may talk of the personal tragedy, the bizarre set of circumstances that led up to the ship’s inevitable demise, the lack of life boats, the way some lifeboats were lowered from the foundering ship only half full, the band of eight musicians who chose to stay and played to calm the frightened passengers and crew, until all eight were lost to the icy sea.

So many people’s lives entwined with the building and the fate of that ship.

“As far as is possible, unsinkable.” from a White Star promotional flyer for the Titanic and Olympia, 1912

As far as is possible.  Humanly possible that is. We can plan, build, reinforce, check, believe that we are ready for anything.  But when we are face to face with the limits of our abilities, what then? For the answer to that we have to look a little deeper, below the surface.

Commander Charles Herbert Lightoller DSC & Bar, RD, RNR, 30 March 1874 – 8 December 1952.

On the surface we learn very little about this man, the last survivor to be hauled from the sea at least 2 hours after the Titanic was lost. What truth did Charles Lightoller hold on to the night he came face to face with his own limitations?

As I looked below the surface of Lightoller’s life, I found that this was not the first time that he had faced terrible uncertainty and survived.  Lightoller was born to a poor family in England.  His mother died soon after his birth, his father abandoned him and at the tender age of 13, Lightoller began a gruelling 4 year seafaring apprenticeship.  On only his second voyage, his ship was forced to harbour in Rio de Janeiro, as revolution and a virulent small pox epidemic raged all around. He was commended for fighting a fierce cargo fire whilst sailing on the Indian Ocean and for a while gave up the sea (!) to try his hand at becoming a cowboy in Alberta, Canada.  He limped back to England penniless.

Lightoller returned to life at sea and in January 1900, he joined the White Star Line, eventually accepting the position of First Officer on the Titanic two weeks before her first and only voyage.  Lightoller had finished his shift on the bridge not long before the ship met the mountain of drifting ice that sunk her. According to his testimony, this is what happened next:

“While the Titanic was sinking, and during the whole time I was working at the boats, I held to the truth, thereby eliminating all fear. I was on the port side where all boats were got away without a hitch, the last one, a flat-bottomed collapsible, floating off the deck. I called on men to follow me up on top of the officers’ quarters to cut adrift the last boat. We had no time to open it up, so just hove her down to the deck. I ran across the deck and could see that all material work was finished, so from where I was above the bridge, I walked into the water.

The sudden immersion in this penetratingly cold water for a few seconds overcame all thought, and I struck out blindly for the crow’s-nest which is on the foremast and then just above the water. I found myself drawn with great force against the grating covering the mouth of the huge forward blower. In this position I went below the surface with the ship.

These words from the 91st Psalm came to me so distinctly: He shall give His angels charge over thee. Immediately, I think, I was thrown away from the blower and came up to find a piece of wood in my hand which seemed to be attached to the top of the funnel by a wire. A second time I went down and again came to the surface. My piece of wood was gone, but alongside me was the flat-bottomed collapsible boat which I had thrown down on the other side of the ship. This I laid hold of, but made no attempt to board it. It was clear to me there was a divine power and it seemed perfectly natural to rely on it with the spiritual understanding spoken of in the Bible.

With the sinking of a great ship like the Titanic, there was also the fear of suction to overcome, and at this time the forward funnel fell, throwing the boat, me, and other survivors about twenty feet clear of the ship, so that of suction we felt nothing. About thirty of us floated the remainder of the night on the upturned boat. At daybreak we found two life-boats floating nearby, into which we were taken. Reaction or effects from the immersion were none; and though surprise has been expressed by very many, it only goes to prove that with God all things are possible.” Lieut. C.H. Lightoller, RNR, October 1912, Christian Science Journal

We can plan, build, reinforce, check, believe that we are ready for anything.  But when we are face to face with the impossible, what then? With God all things are possible. Here is truth we can hold to.

He believes in you.

“Love’s like a hurricane, I am a tree, Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy, When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory. ” from How He Loves Us by Jesus Culture

The South American Indians knew every plant on the wild plains, every tree in the forest by name.  They knew how to sow crops side by side to protect them from the ravages of insects and to make the rich virgin earth bear more than it otherwise would. They knew how to bind leaves to wounds to encourage healing, how to use the bitter bark of the cinchona tree as a cure for fever, even malaria.

The phrase ‘a bitter pill to swallow’ originates there amongst the trees of their forests.  And we still use bitter tasting quinine, from the bark of the cinchona in the treatment of malaria. That bitterness that restores life.

“When the Spanish conquistadors landed in Peru they learned of this miracle drug and spread the news of its discovery. In 1631 it was used in Rome to cure the city which was endemic due to the marshes and swamps that surrounded it. By 1633 Jesuit priests had documented the use of this ‘Peruvian bark’ as a cure for Malaria. It was these priests who became the primary exporters and importers of the bark. When Charles II  was cured of Malaria at the end of the 17th Century it became popular in London.” from humantouchofchemistry.com

Disease can make even a strong man lose heart.  When you watch the life seep out of your body, your hope can dry up and snap like so many brittle branches.  You can fight all you want, cry out, rage against your loss but what if it all takes strength you do not have?  What if you are finally pinned down, made captive to an enemy you have no hope of overcoming?

The priests bought the bitterness that leads to healing with them. They still do.  Generation upon generation of men and women bowed down, bringing with them only the bitterness of a tree that restores life. His affliction for our afflictions, His seeping life for ours flooding back, His captivity for our freedom.

What if you are finally pinned down, made captive to an enemy you have no hope of overcoming? Then you are His, your brittle tree planted next to His. And as His life pours down into the dried out, barren earth, you will absorb all of His goodness into the heart of yourself.  Until finally you will find yourself able to bend, not break beneath the weight of His mercy.

“To those who have had no agony Jesus says, “I have nothing for you; stand on your own feet, square your own shoulders. I have come for the man who knows he has a bigger handful than he can cope with, who knows there are forces he cannot touch; I will do everything for him if he will let Me. Only let a man grant he needs it, and I will do it for him.” from The Shadow of an Agony by Oswald Chambers

He believes in you.

“You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.” Armir, age 9

I imagine many a kid would agree that there is wisdom in this. And I have tried to hide teeny, tiny, almost microscopic pieces of mushroom in a Bolognese sauce thinking my kids would never find them.  They found them, every last finely chopped piece of them. Some things are just too difficult to swallow.

From a distance this all looks kind of funny – across the planet kids are trying to dream up covert ways to hide their broccoli while their parents are trying to find ever more ingenious ways to make offending but good for you food items easier to swallow.  The fact is that doing anything, just because it could do you some good has never been particularly appealing. New Year’s Resolutions anyone?

When you are going through an experience that is difficult or painful to accept, you may have come across one of those famous, well-meant phrases that neatly sum up the philosophy of ‘just eat it, it’ll do you good.’  How about ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’, or ‘when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.’ Really?!

Difficult and painful experiences, however we choose to disguise them, are just that – difficult and painful.  And although we may walk away from them healthier and stronger in the end, the trials we endure can be a bitter pill to swallow some days.

When you are joyful, be joyful; when you are sad, be sad. If God has given you a sweet cup, don’t make it bitter; and if He has given you a bitter cup, don’t try and make it sweet; take things as they come.  Shade of His Hand, Oswald Chambers

You know what the shortest verse in the Bible is?

“Jesus wept.” John 11 v35

Standing at the tomb of His good friend Lazarus, Jesus wept.  Even though Jesus knew with Kingdom certainty that Lazarus was going to walk out of his tightly wrapped grave clothes that very day, He took the bitter cup of that moment and drank it down.  And only as that bitterness went to work, death bowed low to life and the cup became sweet.

‘Take a look at some of the things that cause despair. There is despair which has no delight, no limits whatsoever, and no hope of anything brighter. But the delight of despair comes when “I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells . . .” (Romans 7:18 ). God can do nothing for me until I recognize the limits of what is humanly possible, allowing Him to do the impossible.” Oswald Chambers

What if we stopped trying to sugar coat or hide the bitter pills we have no choice but to swallow?  Our health or body issues, our complicated relationships, the failures, disappointments and every day battles. What if we recognized them for what they are, signs that we have reached the limit of what is humanly possible.

“There have been many times in my own life where I have struggled with circumstances and have not had any pat answers or quick solutions to my problems. But when all else fails, His love never fails.” from 365promises.com

The delight of despair, the death that bows low to life begins right here. And only then does the cup becomes sweet.

He believes in you.

“A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation.

The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone.”  The Wise Woman’s Stone, Author Unknown

When was the last time you gave until it hurt? I’m not talking about diamonds or your life’s savings.  Or maybe I am.  The most precious things we have are often those we hold onto most tightly.

Maybe you have opened your bank account to make up for the lack in a friend’s? I have a wedding dress in my closet made of fine, light silk and french lace, it came from one of London’s most famous department stores – Harrods – I know it is destined for someone else’s wedding, I’m just waiting until God shows me who it is for.

If we allow ourselves to still for a while and look around, we will more easily bring to mind those precious things we have tucked away for a special occasion.  And then if we look a little deeper we may find that there are other things that we withhold unless the time is right.  I can quite easily withhold my smile, my laughter, my grace some days. Even when I feel a gentle tap on my heart asking me to give anyway.

That’s when giving become a sacrifice.  When the time is not right and the occasion far from perfect. The word withhold means to refuse, to suppress (as in an emotion), to hold back.  It also means to freeze or immobilize. And I have left myself stone cold from the gifts I have withheld.  The tighter our hands grip, the harder it can be to let go.

We can love without fear or condition, we can share what we have without worrying about what we lack, we can encourage, pray, be faithful, walk alongside.  We can choose to be a place of shelter, of refuge, of abundant grace.  And in doing so, we can free our frozen tight hands for holding, for loving, for freedom.

What you have when you take the time to look around always, always bows to that which is to be found only within you.  The love you share, the words you speak, the cry of your heart, the times you have knelt instead of walking away, your forgiveness, the scars you carry or have promised to bear.

And as we bow with this our offering of costly love, we mark the best of times, the worst of times. When God as man was stripped and fully immobilized for our sake.  Love shared and spoken, love cried out, love that knelt and then forgave, love that not only carried our scars then but that promised to bear them through all our yesterdays, today and forever.

 ”He presented Himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put His love on the line for us by offering His Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to Him.” Romans 5 v7-8, the Message

Here is shelter, refuge and abundant grace.  Enough to hold and to give?

He believes in you.

“Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.” Ayn Rand, 1905-1982, Russian-American novelist, philosopher, playwright, and screenwriter

The word contradiction started life all the way back in history, to a time when Rome still controlled vast swathes of other people’s countries and Latin was the language of necessity.

We get our modern word contradiction from the Latin word contra meaning against and the word diction meaning speech.  So a contradiction in its purest sense is when someone says the opposite of what another person believes to be true. In contradiction then light becomes darkness, laughter becomes tears, mercy becomes cruelty and faith turns to luck.

Faith.  There’s another word to grapple with.  Is faith believing when we cannot see or is it rather seeing when we do not believe? You may believe something to be true, believe it with your whole heart, until another voice says that your beliefs are pointless, your faith misplaced and your trust worthless.

Back to the present day. We have been fighting the battle of our lives for my husband’s full recovery from a serious neck injury.  And then today in the mail, we received a letter from a Debt Collection Agency that states I have defrauded a South African company to the sum of £30,000.  The company in question has no proof, only my name, Claire Vorster.

This is what I believe.

I believe that God is love, that He hears us when we pray and that He is able to deliver us from everything that would seek to destroy us.  I believe this because Jesus made this promise,

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10 v10, NIV

A contradiction in its purest sense is when someone says the opposite of what another person believes to be true, so finally we are left with this choice.  Whose voice will we listen too?

The Bible contains over 3,500 promises.  Promises that God will be our strength when we are weak, that He will never leave us of abandon us, that He has engraved us on the palms of His hands, that He is with us yesterday, today and forever, that He will not allow us to be destroyed but rather He will restore all that has been taken from us.

So do we make our own luck? Or are our lives safe in the care of a loving God who turns darkness to light, tears to laughter, cruelty to mercy and in whom we can have faith – meaningful, well placed and beyond price.  I guess Ayn Rand, the writer I quoted at the top of this post, was right. That is if we change one letter on one word -

“Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think you are facing a contradiction, check your promises. You will find that one of them is wrong.”

Right here, this is where faith begins.

He believes in you.

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” Epictetus, a former Roman slave disabled by his master, whose influence is noted in the work of playwrights and novelists to this day.

Where do you want to be today? Or here’s a question – where would you rather be today? The last few weeks our family has woken to the same impossible problem – my husband has been off work for over 70 days now due to a back injury that no one has been able to properly diagnose.

We have visited a succession of Specialists, Doctors, Physiotherapists and Osteopaths.  We have been advised on every kind of remedy from faith healing to body, mind and soul alignment.  We have been told that we manifest our own illnesses, even though this injury was a direct result of a highly recommended course of physiotherapy.  We moved to Singapore only six months ago and our life here, our children’s schooling, our future, seem more than ever to be directly related to my husband’s ability to work.  This problem is above and beyond us.

In this age, we are more used to solutions than we are to uncertain outcomes. We were born to prosperity and the ability to shape our own destinies.  We were told that we could go ahead and take what we wanted. We were led to believe that anything is possible if only we believed.  Only I do not believe that at all.  I believe that we are vulnerable, that our every next breath is a gift.  Indeed, we would get no further than a few faltering steps without oxygen however much we believed ourselves able.

The air we breath is a gift, the sun that lights and warms each day is a gift.  Our health, our possessions, the love we receive, our safety, our very lives are all a gift.  However hard we try to keep them, sometimes they are lost to us.  You cannot tell the child involved in a traffic accident that he willed it to happen, no more could you tell a mother who lost her longed for baby that she called that loss into being.  Things happen that are simply above and beyond our ability to influence, predict and control – never mind understand.

‘With these our hells and our heavens, So few inches apart, We must be awfully small, And not as strong as we think we are.’ from We Are Not As Strong by Rich Mullins

Where I would rather be today is in the land of certainty, dealing with the known rather than the unknown.  I would like all my ducks to be in a organized, happy row. But why should happiness exist only somewhere else, on another day?  If I cannot fix this, then why should I carry the burden of it?  Is my life all up to me?  If this problem is above and beyond my power, would it not make sense to be looking above and beyond myself for the solution?  There is really only one place to be,

“Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19 v26, NIV

So here’s a question – where would you rather be today?

He believes in you.

1st Lt. Tom Pullings: [Before the final battle as the gun-crews wait for the signal] ‘Steady now lads, keep calm.’ from Master and Commander, written by Patrick O’Brian, 1969

In April 1805, the H.M.S. Surprise, a British frigate, under the command of Captain Jack Aubrey is ordered to track, capture or destroy one of  Napoleon’s most prized fighting ships  -  Acheron.

Captain Aubrey quickly learns that not only is Acheron much bigger, but a much faster ship than his.   The odds seem impossible, especially as Aubrey comes to understand just how close the Surprise must get to deal any significant damage to Acheron’s sturdy hull.  After months of frustration, having endured violent storms, the death of crew members and a near mutiny, Aubrey finally hits on an idea.

Aubrey disguises his frigate as a whaling ship; hoping that the French, driven by greed, will close to capture the ship rather than destroy it. The French take the bait, pulling alongside the Surprise, Aubrey then lets loose a deadly storm of cannon fire, destroying the French ship’s mainmast. Aubrey’s boarding parties cross the wreckage, engaging in fierce hand-to-hand combat before the French ship is captured.

Aubrey overcame his impossible odds through preparation, persistence, planning and prayer.  Come to think of it, that’s about the only way impossible odds ever become possible.  As a world class thief might tell you, the right combination will unlock the most unlikely door.

One of the sailors on Aubrey’s ship, an old sea dog who had seen anything you can think of involving a fighting ship and an ocean, had these two words tattooed on the knuckles of either hand.  HOLD FAST.

‘Hold Fast!’ – a command that likely originated from a Dutch sailing term, houd vast.  This command is used on a ship, especially in an emergency situation, to indicate that a sailor must cease what he is doing, or hold firmly onto ropes aboard a ship in high seas. ‘Hold Fast!’ – the term can also be used, much in the way that someone shouts “stop” to a driver who is at risk of colliding with something.

So when you find yourself in an impossible situation, or you cannot see above the height of the waves that surround you – Hold Fast! Don’t run blindly into the storm, but prepare, persist, plan and pray.  And give freedom of the wheel house over to the One who knows just how to steer for safe harbor.

‘Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today… The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” Exodus 14 v13a & 14, New Living Translation

He believes in you.

“I think miracles exist in part as gifts and in part as clues that there is something beyond the flat world we see.” Peggy Noonan, columnist for the Wall Street Journal

What is the best gift you have ever received? For me it would be the beautiful Swiss house our friends gifted us for a snowy Christmas vacation, or the two days that my husband booked to spend with him in a secluded Hotel. Bliss.

A gift, like a miracle, can be anything that you did not expect to happen.  Anything that gives you hope or leaves a lasting impression of goodness in your life.  Today, I want you to pick your own gift from the 12 nestling happily below.  Whatever you choose, I hope that you find something here just for you. Happy clicking

best encouragement

daily devotional book

child of God

daily devotional for women

encouragement bible verses for men

encouragement words of love

heaven

inspirational messages

Jesus

truth about God

understanding God

where is God

Jesus said ‘Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!’  Matthew 7 v9-11, New International Version

You may not always get the exact gift that you were expecting from Him, however, you have His word that His gift will always be right for you.