‘For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.’ Albert Camus
My son Joe (12) asked me this question, ‘Mum, is life fair?’. Apparently, one of his teachers told him that it isn’t. Anyway, he asked me to write about it.
Here’s the thing: life cannot be either fair or unfair. Why? Because life is a noun or a naming word; the kind of word we use to describe something much bigger than that word. Like mountain. Life itself is a four letter word, it doesn’t make decisions about anything. You can’t blame the word for what happens, except apparently when the word is terror and then you can go to war with it. A war on terror.
But against the backdrop of devastation playing out in so many people’s lives right now, it seems right to ask this question – is life fair? It’s a question that has stayed with me. I’m going to pause there and tell you a story.
We decided to watch this movie The North Face. You know how it is, you go to your movie store, you choose a DVD, you read the back cover, take it home and watch it. The back cover led us to believe that this was going to be ‘a suspenseful adventure about one man’s dream to climb the most dangerous mountain in Europe’. An against all odds evening in – where drama, love and courage would be being served up alongside our popcorn. Except it wasn’t.
The North Face actually recounts the true and harrowing predicament of Toni Kurz, a young German mountaineer, and his efforts to conquer the Eiger, a monster mountain in Switzerland. The north face of the Eiger is a sombre and intimidating menace. Few climbers approach the foot of the face without an aching sense of dread. The intricate line of the classic first ascent route involves 13,000ft of climbing – almost two miles uphill on hands and knees – over some of the most inhospitable terrain imaginable. The north face has a well-earned reputation as a killer.
The mountain did indeed leave Kurz and his three companions dead, but not before Kurz has demonstrated the most remarkable selflessness and endurance against ever shortening odds. Joe Simpson, a respected mountaineer, and author of Touching the Void, had this to say about Kurz’s story:
‘It is not simply a mountaineering narrative: it is an everyman story. It speaks of the enduring qualities of humanity – determination and steadfastness in extremis, loyalty and selflessness among friends, the most extraordinary display of raw courage and a nobility of valour that seems sometimes very distant today.’
There was no feel good, happy ending to this movie. We watched four men lose the fight for their lives from the safety of our sofa. The hero did not get the medal or the girl. It just didn’t seem fair.
And I thought about life. The time we spend on this planet between birth and death. Do we do it justice? Toni Kurz did, he lived every minute and even when he was down to his last few minutes, he lived well. He lived all the implacable (or uncompromising) grandeur of his life. The life he had part been given, part chosen.
Is life fair? No one could say that life on this planet is easy, but neither could one say that it cannot be kind or beautiful or profound. I’ve had days when I have despaired of my life and hoped for another. And yet. We are given this life.
I can either watch from my sofa or determine to live with commitment. Climb the mountain, because what is life without a seemingly impossible challenge? Live well, because what is life unless it is lived with courage and love? Enjoy the moment, because what is life without joy?
‘You will bring them in and plant them on the mountain of your inheritance— the place, LORD, you made for your dwelling, the sanctuary, Lord, your hands established.’ Exodus 15 v17, NIV
No one could say that life on this planet is easy, but neither could one say that it cannot be kind or beautiful or profound. So after all this thinking, I am left with another question. Not so much is life fair but rather – do I do justice to the life I have?
Joe and I would love to know what you think.
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Dear Claire,
Thank you for this inspiring, thought-provoking story. I don’t have an
answer for your Joe. Does anyone? During my last hospitalization, I met
a young man whose name is Justice. Hmmm, I thought, Justice? So I
asked him why his mother named him Justice. He told me that his mother
wasn’t the one who named him. It was his father. Why? His father told
him that he believed the best thing in the world is Justice.
Just food for thought. Please ask your Joe if he ever finds the answer
to his question, would he please tell me?
Thank you,
Jean Scoggins
I can choose to live this life with commitment, facing the impossible challenge – which is mine alone and no one else can do it for me – live it well with courage and love and enjoy every minute of it. OR…
The choice is mine entirely. My mountain is not the same as yours and of course mine seems to be much greater, but hey, who can measure the height and breadth and depth of my mountain and dare to tell me it’s nothing compared to yours! Life has to be lived on a day to day basis – no – a moment by moment basis facing whatever mountain or crisis we have to face at that precise moment. Not easy, but do-able with the help of a God who really cares and knows what we are going through. He alone can take us up and over and He alone is our dwelling place in those times of uncertainties etc. He alone is a “very present help” when we need help, when we need assurances of someone’s support. People are fickle, but God? Never! A very present help in time of trouble and a very secure dwelling place.
This is the only way I can get over my mountain and emerge victorious on the other side. Could never do it alone. So, Joe, is life fair? No, I don’t think so but then it all depends how you view it. As Claire says the only way is with commitment to overcome the challenge and to live it with love, courage and joy in the journey!q
This week a close friend of mine emailed me the news that her childhood friend died this week from a long battle with cancer. She’d prayed to see her first grandchild before her death, and miraculously the child was born early enough for that blessing. My friend also lost her 35-yr old single mom cousin to disease this week – an eight year old now an orphan. She also wrote that a teen in her daughter’s school is hanging by a thread in the hospital. After all this news, she said “I just don’t understand what God is thinking in all of this.” She is a faith-filled person, but facing the “unfairness” of life — and what seems to be non answers to all our prayers — the old question about God rears up. I think God has put the perfection of “fair” in our hearts, for that is heaven. But here on earth, there will be struggles. Still, I have prayed for and seen many miracles. I believe in declaring God’s promises and speaking life into darkness. So, although life may not be fair here and now, I feel God calling us to trust to His plan in it all… to step out in faith and pray for miracles that are more than fair and trust the rest to heaven. Thanks for sharing! Good food for thought!
Thank you for taking the time to respond Jean and Lyn – I’ll let Joe read your thoughts when he gets back from soccer
Cx
Reminds me of the words of @AnnVoskamp in her new book, “One Thousand Gifts” when she says, something like, “I don’t want *more* time, I only want enough time to do this life well.”
I often say “life isn’t fair” in our house, but then I add that this is the place where it will be the fairest of all.
Another interesting and timely book is “Should We Fire God?” by Jim Pace. I think it’s pretty timely and asks the question differently.
Great post to stir up some thinking before I’ve even stirred my coffee this morning. And welcome to The High Calling.
Yes, welcome to The High Calling! I love your blog and your writing style. This post was especially encouraging to me this morning. I look forward to reading a lot more of your writing!
A life of right intention and right action is a life of bravery.
doing a essay about debunking the myth “life is not fair”
your writing really helped, and enjoyed it alot
thanks
I really like the article posted. All I’ve got to say is that; Life is neither ‘FAIR or UNFAIR’… God made life like a fertile soil. The seed you plant on this soil will determine the kind of fruit you will harvest. Every individual is always being urge to utter out positive words because words do become reality. The Bible even assets that; God uttered out words and the words became flesh and dwelt among us. This should tell you that words do become reality. The things that happen to are neither good nor bad. The way you face things that happen to you determines how you label them. I encourage you to have a mental shift. What ever you want to happen to around you must first happen within you. So have a positive mindset and there you will be able to tell whether life is fair to or not…
God is love, just and kind. He’s given you all you need to make your life a better place. Stay bless.
This is my little advice to everyone…
Thank you for letting us know your thoughts on this BIG question Kennedy x
Thank you for this. This is a question that comes into everyone’s mind, this helps!
I’m sitting here in Mcdonald’s killing time, and probably health, waiting on my daughter to get done with her classes. Since I am alone with my thoughts I started pondering the big questions. I got focused on whether life is fair, did a quick Google search, and stumbled to this blog. I agree with many of the comments. One thing I have trouble with though are simplistic analogies that are given to answer the toughest of life’s questions. One replier told us that life is like soil and we get what we plant. While this is true of the seeds we have control of (i.e. attitude, preparation, and faith), this is not true of the seeds we have no control of. The parents of a chronically ill child more than likely didn’t plant that seed, and the child most definitely didn’t. It’s almost inevitable that a person that struggles emotionally, financially, or physically will look at others that has it better and apparently easier with some envy at times. In a sense, this is what King David did (Psalm 73). There’re are babies born everyday. Some born into riches, others in desperate poverty. Some will posses great talent that will carry them through their lives with ease, comfort, and great confidence, while others will be abused in all kinds of ways that will leave them with little or no self respect that they will struggle with a lifetime. Some will be born with much intellectual power, while others will stuggle with knowing how to take care of themselves on day-to-day basis. I think this is the aspect that most are referring to when they ask the question: Is life fair? My answer is, absolutely not! Not in this life anyway. Let’s not be tempted to blame God, though. God didn’t bring this unfairness into the world. Man is to thank for his fall in the Garden of Eden. That’s the bad news. Here is the good. God can take all the bad in our lives and work it out for good (Romans 8:28) if we will let him. I think we would all do good to come to the same conclusion that King David did when he was struggling with this question.
Psalm 73:28 (KJV)
But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works.
I love you answer David and I share your irony about McDonalds! We now live in Singapore and looked out of the car window yesterday to see Ronald McDonald sitting on a chair. He seems to be everywhere.
However, unlike Ronald, God really IS everywhere
Your comment came at an amazing time for us. We have had 3 really big life things come out of nowhere in the last 6 months, you can almost hear the voice of the accuser saying ‘see He is not here.’ And yet He is, in the light that comes with the morning sun. I love that scripture ‘I would have lost faith if I had not believed that I would see the goodness of God in the land of the living.’ Goodness here, not just later.
I agree wholeheartedly that for so many children (and animals) on this planet life is most definitely defined by abuse and loss. We are living, as Jesus did, with the consequences of our own sin, our desire to control everything, our lust for the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Thank God ‘this too shall pass.’ This lack of peace will one day bow to the Prince of Peace. And that is the only answer, as you say, ‘draw near to God’ for darkness and light cannot dwell together and it is so much better, while acknowledging the reality of darkness, to run together into His light. More, allow let that light be a sign to others that here is a place of refuge. God is the only refuge from all that is unfair.